Entry 3 The New Pack

It's always weird meeting new people. I mean, I talk to people all day at work about things, mindless chit chat to pass the time while I ring up there jeans and shirts and watches and necklaces and whatever bits of merchandise they don't need, but it's different in social situations. There, the conversation isn't limited to the 2 minutes it takes me to ring, bag, and receipt them. I'm expected to go a bit deeper, too. And that makes me a bit nervous. You would think, when around new Weres, it would be less nervewracking, our own kind and all. But it's not. It's worse even. Because we are Weres, it's all about what type we are. It's a class thing. We are Werepanthers, which is somewhat a rarity anymore. However, the new "pack" we heard was moving in...Wereeagles. Yeah. I know. Even more distinction. Kind of the elitist, old world money class of the human world. Werepanthers rank more like high level investment bankers. Of course, when our families met, it was over dinner, we didn't shift, but when I first saw Mason, I could feel what he was. It's like I looked at him and felt myself soaring over mountains, valleys, rivers and canyons. I felt free. And it scared me. I choked a bit on my wine (that was cute, btw) of course my mom had to fuss over me, and my little brother had his little brother comments to make. I couldn't look at Mason to see how he reacted. I couldn't look at him when dinner came for that reaction either. Or when his father mentioned him and his siblings looking for an apartments on their own, or even when Dad asked him if he liked his dinner. I was mortified. I know it sounds stupid, but it's like he could feel what I was thinking just how I could feel what it was like to fly....Not that I was thinking anything. I mean, he's cute and all. With his blonde hair. And blue eyes. Kinda like the sky. Or the sea. Maybe a bit of both depending on the light...

Like I said, anyway, not good at meeting new people. The Wereeagles dinner was no different. Happy Saturday night to me. I spent most of today reading, I decided to start reading Charlaine Harris' books since I enjoy True Blood so much. Interesting depiction of Weres. Kind of on, but kind of not. I'll have to get a bit deeper into them before I can list a full "True/False" section. Back to work tomorrow. We are supposed to be having the Wereeagles over for a meet and greet (every Were within a 20 mile radius usually comes to these when a new pack of Weres moves in) Luckily, I think I will be working that day. If not, I will make sure to be scheduled. There are several in the family, the father, mother, Mason, his sister that appears about 5 years older, a 2 brothers around the same age as well as another sister around the same age, if not from the same nesting. It's odd how the 4 of them are all so close but the sister, alone, is older. But, since she must be closer to 30, it's very possible that the rest have formed clans of their own. Traditionally, the clans will stick together, your grandmothers and grandfathers and cousins and uncles and aunts all living close, but as the modern human world changes, so does the Were world. It's a mystery with the Wereeagles though. Probably nothing. I like to make mountains out of molehills. (and then tear them down. Mole's are the nosiest of Weres and my personal own worst nuisance.) Off to bed...nighty night.

Entry 2 Married Guys?

Ok what is it with married guys....Were's, as a whole, can handle their alcohol...but when a guy is shoving whiskey down your throat....yeah....Not as easy as it was before. I found myself struggling not to shift then. I saw a cat strolling by, appeared to be loving life and completely at ease, not a care in the world. I wanted to shift. Bad. But I couldn't. It's hard to control, especially after a few drinks. But back to my original topic. The reason I wanted to shift? Because this is a guy I've had a crush on...for years...and needed to get away from at that moment. He kept telling me all the things any human girl, or Were, wants to hear. How perfect we are. How much he wanted me. How great I am. Great things if you weren't wearing that ring on your left hand, RING finger. What is it with guys? If you aren't ready, don't pop the question...no matter how much she badgers. And don't pop the question because it's the "right" thing to do. Or because "everyone else" is doing it. Do it because she makes you thump. Anyone seen "Things to do in Denver when your dead"? If not, rent it. You want that person that makes you thump, and not just in the beginning, and not just during the first few months of marriage, you want that girl that makes you thump throughout, that you can't imagine yourself living without, that you are incomplete without them in your life. And if you don't have that girl, don't propose, get married, and then hit on random peopel you knew in a past life when you see them out drinking. It's bad form.

Entry 1: Alone

I find it harder and harder to fit in....I don't know if it is my being different or my being "different". I am different because I am almost 30, single, living with my sickly aunt instead of on my own, and would prefer the seclusion of the "cave" to nights out partying. But I am "different" because I am not like them, different or normal. I am not human. Well, at least not all the time.

Tried something new today. At the suggestion of a co-worker, went on a dating website. It was free, ok. I didn't spend any money on this. Call it my Were Research. Of course, I picked out a few that are Were's. We don't advertise it, of course, even in the "advanced search" box. But I can tell. The problem with the dating site-Weres and humans alike-these guys are tools. Granted, I am very limited by the area in which I live, but, c'mon....Throwing random "thug" signs with your little white butt and Dale Jr. hat isn't doing it for me. And have these guys never heard of spell check? C'mon...This makes me want to talk to you: "I like to party, hang out, whatver threr is going on I"m there, but always make time for you" ugh. Or, my fav "I love writing, poetry, Emily Dickerson"...Well 2 out of 3 ain't bad, right? right?

It does at least give me momentary escape from larger issues. I feel a new clan moving in, creeping up on our territory. It's just been us since as long as I can remember, and the whole family seems a bit edgy. Of course, I can't tell them, especiallly Dad, but I'm kind of excited. It would be nice to have more of our kind closer, out here. Sure there are several in the City, and it's not THAT far, but to have our own kind, HERE...in the Country....I'm always up for a little excitement though. That's what separates me from the rest of my clan. And makes me so alone. Time for sleep. Tomorrow: Meeting, drinks with Eliza after work, and hopefully more details on the new clan.